Calm in Conflict
Are you struggling in fights and arguments with people you love?
Do you start with patience and good intentions and then lose it, behaving in ways you later regret?
(This happens to so many of us.)
The fight escalates or you shut down in order to keep the peace? Either way, you may be tired of it.
I have a free talk for you.
It’s from a live event so my glasses are crooked, and I’m just hanging out with people, responding to comments and questions. But there’s so much good stuff here and I wanted to share it.
Here's what's in it:
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The hidden cause of misery in family and couple conflict. This is the key to being less triggered.
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Two kinds of losing it, and how one leads to the other.
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3 ways to bring mindfulness to conflict. (And it’s powerful, even if it's just for a second.)
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Why we lose all our mindfulness and other hard-won practices and skills, just when we need them most - during conflict in our most important relationships.
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The connection between your experience of conflict and the "garden variety bad parenting" you received (so many of us did.)
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Is it all about being “calm” or is it just as important to be boundaried, confident and fierce? (I'll just tell you here: it’s up to you, and it may be all of the above)
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How mastering these most upsetting, destabilizing, heartbreaking moments heals not just your relationships, it's also your whole life.
You’ll also get a taste of the community where we gather weekly for free lives.
Let's Break the Silence
As a clinical social worker, therapist, and workshop leader, I've seen how these tools change lives. But not if we don't talk about it.
Let’s support and inspire each other in healing and strength.
Let’s build a community of people who are working on this together, one small step at a time.
IMAGINE HOW IT WOULD BE IF EACH OF US COULD HOLD ONTO OUR CALM DURING CONFLICT
Can you imagine what the world would look like if we, and our leaders, would manage conflicts with mindfulness and intention?
If we could choose our response, with compassion for ourselves and for the other? If we could stand our ground, honoring our own opinion and our own truth, while also acknowledging the other person's humanity?
Imagine such a world.
Now, begin with your family, your couple, yourself.
Hi, I’m Margo.
Clinical Social Worker and Therapist
I've been a therapist for twenty years. Mindfulness is one of my favourite approaches for helping my clients live well even with some of life's most challenging problems - difficult relationships, anxiety, illness and loss - and to create loving relationships and fulfilling lives.
As clinical director of a leading nonprofit, I developed and led workshops that trained thousands of medical and nursing professionals to deal with angry patients and family members and conduct conversations about the most painful issues.
But in difficult conversations in my own relationships, all my mindfulness and confidence could disappear if I felt misunderstood or triggered.
So I crafted a mindfulness practice specifically for heated conflict with the people I love. These tools have changed my life. I want you to have them too.
Answers to FAQ
These tools work in conflict in any important relationship. People have come because of conflict with their life partner, their child, or another close relative, as well as their boss or a close friend. Anyone who’s important to you and who you have conflict with in a way that disrupts your life.
I teach approaches that are simple and doable even with no background in mindfulness. But if you love and practice mindfulness, you may be even more frustrated than others about how it all disappears for you during an argument. I teach how to do it even in situations that are triggering.
Yes, you can change the situation even if they're the ones who start conflict and keep it going.
Many of my clients and participants have lived with long-term conflict. Often, it’s the same arguments that come up over and over and have been unresolved for years, no matter what they’ve tried. These skills work for that too, though it may be a longer process.
You don't have to respond well to someone who's misbehaving. This work is a choice, and that doesn’t obligate you to practice it all the time. By learning this approach, you’ll have the option of choosing your response.
I'm a therapist. But this is not therapy. Anyone can benefit from these tools but they're not designed with abusive relationships in mind. If this is your situation, please consult a local professional.