If you’re a motivated self-starter, or if you're so upset about fights with that person you love that you're ready to DO something, you can learn the main points of what I teach in my courses right here. Instead of buying the course get the skills you need and learn how to stop arguments in a relationship.
Over the next few blog posts I’m going to teach you how to hold onto your calm during fights and arguments with people you love.
You’ll learn what the brain does during heated conflict. This is important because it clarifies what you should actually never do during conflict.
This may be the most important piece of my course.
Why start with what not to do?
All it does is make the conflict last longer and get more upsetting. The more we do this one thing, the more likely we are to be so upset after the fight that the whole day can be ruined.
You know what that’s like. You wake up in the morning and you’ve got a picture of your day, whether it’s doing something you love or ticking some things off of your to-do list. Sometimes it’s not even a clear picture, you’re just flowing along with the day and feeling fine.
Then suddenly, that person you love gets irritable. Something is really bothering them. Maybe it’s you – whether or not you actually did anything. Or maybe it’s life in general. It could be anything – from the grapefruit being cut wrong, to the noise outside the window, to the words you just innocently said. The smallest things can set it off.
If you live with someone who’s sometimes unaware that complaining and blaming is not so useful, you know what I mean. It could be a moody people – your spouse or a difficult child. It could be someone who doesn’t live under the same roof as you but holds a crucial role in your life: your sister, your mom, or your boss.
Sometimes you’re so exasperated that you don’t even want to try anymore. Other times you feel willing to do just about anything to make things better so that your life and your relationship can be peaceful and fulfilling.
The more you try, the more upset you can get when your efforts don’t help enough or at all, or when they seem to completely backfire and just make everything worse.